Important Skills: Negotiating, Part 1

Becoming a good negotiator will likely help you live better.  Sure, it’s only one piece of the puzzle.  But the more pieces of the puzzle you put together, the better your chances of realizing your dreams.

I’ve read Getting to Yes and the Secrets of Power Negotiating.  Both provide important insights into a formalized or semi-formalized structure for negotiating. I also read the Art of the Deal, too which (I would say) provides the 3rd more hard-core view of negotiating – there’s always a winner and a loser.

Here are the main outlines for Getting to Yes:

Getting to Yes

1. The Problem
   1. Don’t bargain over positions
2. The Method
   1. Separate the People from the Problem
   2. Focus on Interests, Not Positions
   3. Invent Options for Mutual Gain
   4. Insist on Using Objective Criteria
3. Yes, But
   1. What if they are more powerful
      1. BATNA – Best Alternative to The Negotiated Agreement
   2. What if they won’t play
      1. Use Negotiation Jujitsu
   3. What if They Use Dirty Tricks
      1. Taming the Hard Bargainer
4. Conclusion

The main point of the book would be the four points in bold.

Separate the People from the Problem

• Negotiators are people first
• Every negotiator has two kinds of interests, in the substance and in the relationship
• The relationship tends to become entangled with the problem
• Separate the relationship from the substance: deal directly with the people problem
• Perception
  • Put yourself in their shoes
  • Don’t deduce their intentions from your fears.
  • Discuss each other’s perceptions
  • Look for opportunities to act inconsistently with thei perceptions
  • Give them a stake in the outcome by making sure they participate in the process
  • Face-saving: Make your proposals consistent with their values
• Emotion
  • First, recognize and understand emotions, theirs and yours
  • Pay attention to “core concerns”
  • Consider the role of identity
  • Make emotions explicit and acknowledge them as legitimate
  • Allow the other side to let off steam
  • Don’t react to emotional outbursts
  • Use symbolic gestures
• Communication
  • Listen actively and acknowledge what is being said
  • Speak to be understood
  • Speak about yourself, not about them
  • Speak for a purpose
• Prevention works best
  • Build a working relationship
  • Face the problem, not the people

Focus on Interests, Not Positions

Invent Options for Mutual Gain

Insist on Using Objective Criteria

Roger Dawson’s Secrets of Power Negotiating

Power Negotiating teaches you how to win at the negotiating table, but leave the other person feeling that he or she won.

Check out this slideshow and this outline.

1. The Five Underlying Facts You Must Understand about Negotiating
   1. You are negotiating all the time
   2. Everything you want is owned or controlled by someone else
   3. There are predicable responses that you can count on in the negotiating process
   4. There are three critical factors in every negotiation–power, information, time
   5. The proper “mesh” of personality types is important to negotiating success
2. The Three Underpinnings of “Win/Win” Negotiating
   1. Never narrow negotiations down to just one issue
   2. Different people want different things
   3. Price is not always all-important
3. The Three Stages of Every Negotiation
   1. Learning your opponent’s stated goals; stating what you want
   2. Gathering information on your opponent and his needs
   3. Reaching for compromise
4. The Five Things That Make a Good Negotiator
   1. Knowing that both sides are under pressure so you don’t feel intimidated
   2. Wanting to learn negotiating skills
   3. Understanding negotiating skills
   4. Being willing to practice
   5. Wanting to create “win/win” negotiating situations
5. The Eight Kinds of Power
   1. Title power
   2. Reward power
   3. Punish power
   4. Reverent power
   5. Charismatic power
   6. Expertise power
   7. Situation power
   8. Information power
6. How to Gather Information
   1. Ask open-ended questions
   2. Repeat statements as questions
   3. Ask for response
   4. Ask for restatements
   5. Ask others who seal with your opponent
   6. Ask your opponent’s subordinates
   7. Mix your company’s specialists with their specialists
7. Personality Styles Chart
   1. Find your own type and that of your opponentAnalytical | Pragmatic
      ——————————->Higher assertiveness
      Amiable    | Extrovert
      V
      Higher
      Emotionalism
      
   2. The hardest type for you to negotiate with is the type in the kitty corner opposite yours
8. Where to Sit in Negotiations
   1. When you’re negotiating with two people: sit where you can watch both
   2. When two people are on your team: sit apart so you “speak with two different voices”
   3. When your large group opposes their small group: keep your group together for power
   4. When their large group opposes your small group: intermingle to diffuse their power
9. Five Characteristics of a Successful Negotiation
   1. Both sides feel a sense of accomplishment
   2. Both sides feel the other side cared
   3. Both sides feel the other side was fair
   4. Each side would deal again with the other
   5. Each side feels the other side will keep the bargain
10. Checklist of Negotiating Gambits, Part 1
    1. The Nibble
    2. The Hot Potato
    3. The Higher Authority Gambit
    4. The Set-Aside Technique for avoiding impasse
11. Checklist of Negotiating Gambits, Part 2
    1. Use arbitrators to break deadlocks
    2. Good Guy/Bad Guy
    3. Feel, Felt, Found formula
    4. Dumb is smart; smart is dumb
12. Checklist of Negotiating Gambits, Part 3
    1. The Flinch
    2. The Vise technique
    3. The Printed Word technique
    4. The Withdrawn offer
13. Checklist of Negotiating Gambits, Part 4
    1. The Fait Accompli
    2. The Funny Money gambit
    3. The Red Herring
14. Checklist of Negotiating Gambits, Part 5
    1. The Puppy Dog Technique
    2. Reluctant Buyer/Reluctant Seller
    3. The Want-It-All technique
15. Checklist of Rules and Principles, Part 1
    1. Never say “Yes” to first offer
    2. The Call Girl principle (value of services diminishes rapidly after services are performed)
    3. Always maintain your “walkaway power”
    4. Make a big deal of any concession you make, and get a counter-concession for doing so
16. Checklist of Rules and Principles, Part 2
    1. Don’t be the first to name a price
    2. Position opponents for easy acceptance
    3. Be the one who writes the contract
    4. Make your offers low but flexible
17. Checklist of Rules and Principles, Part 3
    1. Never be the one to offer to “split the difference.” Get opponent to make the offer to you
    2. 80% of concessions are made in the last 20% of the time–so don’t “leave details” till later
    3. The person under the greatest time pressure generally loses in negotiations
18. Checklist of Rules and Principles, Part 4
    1. Never reveal it if you have a deadline
    2. Don’t negotiate on the phone (you can’t read your opponent’s body language)
    3. Watch for sudden changes in body language, rather than just the body language itself
19. Checklist of Body Language Signals, part 1
    1. A smoker lights up: “I’m relaxed, ready to get down to business”
    2. Man unbuttons his jacket: same signal as “a”
    3. Fast blinking: “I’m very alert” or “I’m lying” or “I’m discomforted”, etc.
    4. Tilted head, knuckles under chin: “I’m interested”
    5. Head held straight and/or chin in heel of hand: “I’m bored”
20. Checklist of Body Language Signals, Part 2
    1. Tug at ear: “I want to hear more”
    2. Scratching head: “I’m uncomfortable with the discussion”
    3. Steepling of fingers: “I’m supremely confident”
    4. Hand on back of neck, or finger under collar: “I’m annoyed”
21. Checklist of Body Language Signals, Part 3
    1. Fiddling with glasses or pipe: “I need more time”
    2. Object in mouth: “I need more nourishment”
    3. Eyeglasses taken off, set down on table: “I’m shutting you off”
22. Checklist of Conversational Clues, Part 1
    1. Statements that mean just the opposite (“In my humble opinion…”)
    2. Throwaways that precede major announcements (“By the way,” “As you’re aware”)
    3. Legitimizers (“Honestly,” “Frankly,”)
23. Checklist of Conversational Clues, Part 2
    1. Justifiers (“I’ll try”)
    2. Erasers (“But,” “However,”)
    3. Deceptions (“I’m just a country boy…”)
24. Checklist of Conversational Clues, Part 3
    1. Preparers (“I don’t want to intrude, but…”)
    2. Exaggerators (“This is very embarrassing…”)
    3. Trial balloons (“Off the top of my head…”)