Intro
Mental boxes have affected people throughout history. Conscious and unconscious forces created these mental boxes.
Let me suggest you consider two powerful and important ways to un-box your thinking. They can be described as seeing the 3rd way and abundance thinking.
Thinking outside the box
Both the 3rd way and the abundance mentality will help you see outside the box.
In other words:
If you start feeling mentally boxed in, look for 3rd options and/or generate abundance solutions to the perceived challenge.
To mentally un-box your thinking, start by generating a 3rd option and/or an abundance scenario.
Using the 3rd way and abundance thinking will force you to move outside an overly mentally-constructed view of the situation.
Generating other solutions is the mental equivalent of both dodging punches and developing agility training.
3rd ways
One, let your mind look for a 3rd way.
The 1st and 2nd options could be great or they could be terrible.
But teach yourself to see at least a 3rd way.
There is strength in “black&white” thinking. “My way or the highway”. There’s a simplicity in viewing things as right or wrong.
But if the only possible answers are Yes or No, A or B, the Red Pill or the Blue Pill, then perhaps you may want to consider looking outside the box.
Sometimes the question creates the box
- (And who who created the question, by the way?)
- Did the question-maker purposely or subconscious engineer a “black or white” scenario?
- Multiple choice?
- Democrat or Republican?
- Are you the question-maker?
- And are you creating questions that create unnecessary boxes for yourself?
- How do those boxes effect of limiting your mental powers and enjoyment of life?
- What might be some alternative ways to think and view challenges?
- Creating a fight-or-flight mentality
- Creating a perceived life-or-death scenario when it truly isn’t so
Sometimes, there is truly only one choice out of two possibilities. But are you currently in a such situation? Some sort of eminent, life-or-death situation might have only one real choice (And you probably aren’t reading this article whilst in a life-or-death situation)
This impulse for survival creates a predictable biological response in the body briefly summarized as fight-or-flight. But does the scenario actually merit that response, or is it rather the framing of the scenario that creates the illusion of imminent death?
Re-framing the situation
If you see something in binary, especially when more creative solutions might be preferred, start looking for the 3rd way. Looking for the 3rd way will open up your brain and life to greater possibilities. This will essentially help you re-frame the challenge/situation.
Take a high-pressure salesman as an example
Imagine a high-pressure salesperson that creates the illusion of urgency, the feeling that one will miss out on the opportunity of a lifetime, that one will really only live if they make that choice. The sales tactic creates a life-or-death situation. If you try to re-frame the issue with a question that doesn’t fit into that scenario, the salesperson will attempt to return to the original scenario or include your re-framing into their postulated scenario.
The feeling of being persuaded, of losing possible options has been created by the sales pitch. That’s when you know you’re getting mentally boxed-in. The salesperson has re-framed the dialogue such that you now are perceiving everything within the box that they have created.
That’s when you need to look for a 3rd way.
You don’t have to take the 3rd way, you just need to see it
Use it as a mental check that you are thinking clearly.
It’s like when the cashier checks the money under the ultraviolet light, or in the movies when the actors have to look in the mirror to see who’s a vampire and who isn’t. Or in the Matrix, when you can tell if you are in or out the matrix by certain glitches that appear in the matrix, etc.
So, if you’re not a truly life-or-death situation, then consider a third way as a possibility, at least to pump and stretch your creative problem solving skills.
Once you see multiple solutions instead of just 2, then it might be time to start considering taking action.
Abundance Mentality
Lots of folks will talk about abundance. It’s become a buzzword. But for good reason. Abundance mentality deserves the hype.
Just like thinking in binary, viewing many things from a zero-sum mentality usually means that you haven’t yet explored the best options.
Most challenges on a personal level have win-win solutions.
The zero-sum box
A zero-sum mentality believes most things in life have a winner and a loser. That there a strictly finite amount of resources at the personal level. That there only so much food and money in the world.
In some ways zero-sum thinking is true. In certain circumstances, there may only be a certain amount of resources. But most of the time, the belief in limited resources is only true within the box of zero-sum thinking.
If someone starts espousing zero-sum thinking, realize that they are re-framing the situation into the zero-sum box.
Look for the 3rd way and try to find the abundance mentality. Look for the win-win solutions.
If you can’t find the win-win, maybe they don’t exist.
But maybe you just haven’t looked at things in enough ways?
Abundance mentality
The best options will usually suggest an abundance mentality!
It’s like looking for the 3rd way. Looking for solutions that provide abundance to those involved will probably be best solutions for those involved.
Looking for abundant solutions will help you to learn new skills, meet new people, and live a fuller life.
And, by the way, I hope you find what I’ve written might help you.
Ways to practice abundance and the 3rd way
Hopefully the problem solving by looking for a 3rd way and using the abundance mindset will help you in your future endeavors. Here’s some ways that you could use to practice.
- Formulate the best points from two people’s debate to find what is common ground. Seek to uncover solutions that may work better for both parties
- Daydream multiple courses of action in any scenario in 15 seconds
- Whenever someone asks a yes-or-no question look see an alternative to the binary choice. You can still answer yes or no, but have 3rd option present in your mind.
- If someone has a presentation that involves persuasion, are think seeking solution that involve zero-sum solutions or solutions with a win-win scenarios? If it’s a zero-sum solution, imagine abundant scenarios.
- If you’re taking a test, notice how there might better answers than those provide in multiple choice selection
- Remember 1+1 doesn’t always equal 2. For example, in binary 1 + 1 = 10.
A better term than “outside the box”
The term “think outside the box” creates a cognitive dissonance. Why?
Because it invokes the negative image of a box and implies that box thinking is not preferred.
But it does both highlight a challenge (box thinking) and an outcome (think outside the box). It also suggests the person to that they me be in the box, and then to imagine how to get out of the box.
It’s better to think a positive light.
What would some better ways to view “thinking outside the box”?
At this moment, I don’t know. When I come with another phrase, I will share it here.
Personal notes
I’ve considered many situations in my life that I could have handled in different ways. A lot of my challenges came from being mentally unprepared for certain situations. And most of those challenges in my past could have been overcome with an abundance mentality.
I’ve been obsessed with fairness and equality, as well not wanting to hurt peoples’ feelings by getting what I want. Many times I will look at things like it would only be good for me or for them and I don’t have a third abundant way of looking at the situation.
Maybe this might be what has happened with you?
Musical possibilities
I can think of situations where I have played with an abundance mindset. Where the music represented beautiful landscapes and joyful feelings. I tried to play with my heart and mind.
But can also remember other times where I have not created mental boxes for myself. Creating music with an abundance mentality has usually been a preferred approach to create music within musical boxes. Of course groove, intonation, melody and harmony are important. But many times the best way to arrive at these virtues is with an open mind and heart.